28.6

" Back when I was a child,
Before life removed all the innocence.
My Father would lift me high,
and dance with my Mother and me and then,
Spin me around till i fell asleep,
Then up the stairs he would carry me
How I'd love love love,
To dance with my Father again. "

Dance With My Father
Luther Vandross

Ironic isn't it, life. Now i'm 18, i desperately want to be 8.
Desperately.
Times when the was much less on my mind.
Less hate. Less second guesses. Less suspicion. Less problems. Less desires.
More friends. More kin. More joy. More time. More happiness. More love.
Genuine love of the world and people around.
Love towards my friends and parents,
When they were all I would ever need in my life back them.
I knew and had all that I ever needed in my life at 8.
At 18, I lost it all.
All thanks to the devilish society I needed to adapt to to keep me alive.
Cynical and wary. Why oh why.

I want my family back.
I want to spend so much more time with them.
I really do not want to waste more time on some.
I want my genuine friends back.
Those whom I would sacrifice for and them doing so in return.
I want my life back.

But face it.
In this world.
All I ever had have been lost forever.
Everything has changed so much.
But I would only try harder.
To fight for the people I truly cherish.