So... Im here on my bed, in bunk, typing out my first post in like 6 months? My beautifully tailored number one is hanging on my cupboard along with my berets, cover the poster of taeyeon nick gave me as a present from his japan trip. Not forgetting the 15 other pictures to my right on waikhins cupboard which i printed out in accordance to venods request to decorate our corners in bunk. My dusty morries fan blows at my while my 'CREAM' alice pack full of memories sits quietly in a corner.
All of these is going to be gone tomorrow. Every single one of these items which brought me through so much of the past 1.5 years in this place. The highs and the lows (much much much more lows than highs i must say) ive been through in this bunk will slowly fade away, bit by bit as i return the items and take the rest down. I will miss everything, down to the not so pleasant smell this place often emits.
My sentimental feelings havent been brought out for a while already. The past few months seemed like a void. Devoid of feelings. I was so numb to the events in camp, mostly unpleasant, that most of my time spent was to try and negate the things that upset me or i felt were a pointless chores. I cant/dont know how to elaborate how soulless i felt during that period of lonesome and emptiness.
But as i move on with life, im starting to feel like what i was before, though only very very slightly. Someone with hopes and dreams.
The period between 3rd February 2012 till 22 November 2013, fresh 18 till 20, has changed and hardened me so much. I still dont know how much of a good thing it is though. But im going to keep moving on for now, as i have forced myself and been forced to so many fucking times.
No comments:
Post a Comment