im writing this from bunk after quite a happening day. it isnt necessarily of any good though, as is expected of where im from. so the CO decided to fill our remaining days before we head up to taiwan with another exercise, falcon 3. a promise he has broken, that this month would be free from any. i cant comment on whether it is of any point, this exercise, or it has really been the fault of the battalion which cause this as i havent been following through with much of the recent exercises. but this is just to bring to point yet again how our lives are being controlled and dictated by certain individuals in appointment, whether we trust and support of their abilities or not.
"you dont ask, you just do"
weve all heard enough of such words for those above. yes, this is the military. but im sorry, but the system sickens me. an analogy of the situation we.re currently caged in goes;
that we.re employees of a company which we had to work at, as long as we come of age. 2 years, no more no less. your weekdays are spent stuck in the company, you cant leave the residences else for official reasons, or youd have to prepare to spend time behind bars. your superiors are your gods. disobey, and your weekends would be spent in the company, just cause you cant follow the orders, no matter how ridiculous or how much you just hate doing certain things. you cant meet a certain physical standard, your weekend shortens. you get injured or fall ill during key events, the weekends are spent in the companys. you have no form of trade union whatsoever, your 'employer' may breach rules just to obtain their objectives, yet their isnt any avenue for you to report it. and the best of all, the contract binds you to the company for 2 full years of your prime, at a salary one could get being a part time cleaner. your social life dies off, and theres no fucking way you can resign or quit. you just go on and on until the date comes.
sounds fucking awesome?
amidst all this bullshit of a life im having, theres at least an upside to it- getting to see the worst of people, and the fucking horrible and shameless stuff theyd do to get their way, at the expense of others or not. then again, by not being that much of a cynic, ive also got the privilege to know and see how some would throw everything aside to help you out. but yet, id have to admit ive grown more selfish but generous in certain ways. i detest the stuff we do in camp, be it administrative or extra work which arises from the OBSCENE amount of inefficiency generated by the processes that go around here. you can be a nice guy and suck things up for a day, a week, but youd go crazy when it goes on forever and nothing seems to improve. thats when youd either wriggle your way out of things (which isnt too difficult,but you get hated on), or do it cause your buddies are doing it as well. this then brings about a dilemma, when do you be selfish and get away from it all or move on with it. personally, ive never been the kind to allow myself to let others make me go against my will, thus theres been instances when ive chosen the former, and as expected, has been met with critical views. as much as i tend to rationalise and reason things out before going ahead with things, the 'dont ask just do' commands have been driving me crazy.
ive been typing for almost an hour and i think im already losing my coherence. the bottomline now is that life in here still stinks and im just powerless to do anything about it but i'll just have to bite myself and drag on.
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